Tail Chaser

Feeling fast, tired, full, empty, antsy, ready. Sensitive to it all but nothing at the same time. You're living and loving but lying as well. I'm sleeping too much but my dreams leave me exhausted from a night of unyielding journeys and travels, quests and tests and meaningless puzzles that somehow correlate to the self-styled important aspects of my waking life. Everything is so altogether brilliant yet so demanding all at once.

Have you found a way to balance this? It is neither bad nor good, not sad nor happy, just is and we feel it all over our skin and throughout our bodies. And we feel it over and over again to keep our restless minds from forgetting for too long just what’s going on here. I start to feel like a dog chasing its tail in that fanatical, ecstatic infatuation with the obvious.

You think one thought, that leads to the next, that implodes and regenerates and mushrooms out through your head so you can't feel what you were thinking about anymore but you can see it. The manifestation of your own creation whirls you around so fast you don’t even have a chance to realize that you’ve already wound up right back to the exact spot you were in before. You just chase your tail. That thought comes running faster and faster because it’s right in front of your face and you can smell the magnetic essence of it when it’s at the tip of your teeth. But when you just about have it, when it’s so close you can feel the vibrations tickling the end of your nose and your tongue waters because you’re boarding on capturing that ceaseless fixation… you catch a hair of what you’ve been after, and the taste is not so much to your liking.

You realize, break down the information, but by this time the thought has already divided and multiplied into a different variation of what it was before, and another spell is cast. You feel the twitch in your left eye and the swelling sensation of energy that surges up through the back of your neck and into your mind. And you can't resist the manic need to hunt down and capture your own misapprehended invention. Except, it wasn't a misapprehension at the time...